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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949850">Dr. Carmilla’s Failed Found Family: A Collection of Tragedies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallprotector/pseuds/smallprotector'>smallprotector</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dr. Carmilla (Musician), The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(mentioned) - Freeform, ...it's the Mechanisms, Character Study, Dr. Carmilla is fascinating, Gen, Human Experimentation, I tried to be canon compliant but canon is confusing!, Mentions of Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, how not to build a friend group!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:07:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallprotector/pseuds/smallprotector</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla wants friends, even a family. But somehow her attempts always go wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dr. Carmilla’s Failed Found Family: A Collection of Tragedies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carmilla woke to a claxon sounding. For a second, she waited for the adrenaline to kick in, expecting to panic at noise and the red flashing lights. When it didn’t come, she smiled, sharp and satisfied. Right. That was in the past.</p><p>A brief glance at the readout on the main screen revealed the reason for the alarm: energy for the engines was running low. Carmilla swore, looking over at the navigational reports to search for any nearby planets. She didn’t know exactly how long she’d been asleep, but judging by past experience it would have been long enough to travel lightyears.  The life support had been turned off long ago, back when she rerouted more power to the engines to travel as quickly as possible. For the next boost of power she disabled all the lights, pulling out the glass vial filled with immortal bioluminescent algae she wore as a necklace from under her shirt. (It was the only thing she retrieved from the remains of the lab back home before burning it all down, and she knew if she only had the time, the supplies, the volunteers, she could finally use it to finish the work that L- that had been started.)</p><p>It only took a little while (comparatively) for the ship to reach the planet. Carmilla plotted the descent into the atmosphere, knowing that the ship would burn on reentry. That was fine. It had served its purpose, and she would survive as she always had. </p><p>She would find a family here, if she had to make them herself. Immortal- but not cursed by the horror that was existence as a vampire. No, she would make them better, and she knew they would love her for it. She knew what it was like to be experimented on, disregarded, tossed aside when she became useless, and she would never treat anyone like that. </p><p>--- </p><p>The first was Jonny. He was drunk when she met him, but more importantly, he was singing. There was anger in his voice, and unshed tears glinted in his eyes. In that moment she knew he could be someone who understood her. </p><p>She waited until he was sober (she would not take advantage of someone incapacitated, who’d slur acceptance for anything if asked in the right tone, she would not be like-). She offered him immortality. He laughed, and shot her. When her only reaction was a sharp-toothed smile, eyes burning with suppressed bloodlust, he stopped laughing. </p><p>He might have agreed too quickly. (She might have left some details out.) All he had to do was remove any connections he still had to this place. She wouldn’t tear someone away from their home if it still existed for them to return to. </p><p>So when he returned to her with a manic smile and eyes still blazing from the fire he had set, she held out her hand and he took it. Of his own free will he laid down and helped her fasten the straps that would keep him restrained. The smile turned into a horrible grimacing mask once she started cutting.</p><p>Halfway through the process, he started begging her to stop. She paused, scalpel in her hand. If she stopped now, he would die. Did he know what he was asking for? Could she give it to him? </p><p>No. </p><p>She would finish this, he would realise once she was done that it was for his own good.</p><p>(He never really forgave her for that) </p><p>---</p><p>Nastya was the next. She was… an indulgence. A princess, lonely and in danger. Carmilla could just imagine what it would be like to spend eternity together, seeing her grow into a queen, confident and cold.</p><p>In her enthusiasm, Carmilla might have misjudged Nastya’s character somewhat. With her almost having bled out from a tiny wound that should never have been fatal, there wasn’t a lot of time for getting to know each other. (And Carmilla had been so glad that she was already glutted with royal blood as when she came across Nastya in a pool of it, smelling ever so tempting. There was only a tiny bit left, but it would have been so easy to take what was still warm and  savour it- but she didn’t. She could control herself. She wasn’t a monster.) </p><p>Nastya’s mechanism took more work to get right than Jonny’s. Over the course of months, Nastya’s skin tone cooled, turning ashen grey with glimmers of silver at her wrists and throat catching Carmilla’s eyes. (Later, Nastya would remember those hungry eyes’ gaze as she donned her long coat.) Getting a replacement for blood perfect was hard- but Carmilla knew it would be worth it, certain that all the pain would be forgiven with a smile. </p><p>But while Nastya never gave in and begged for the procedures to stop as Jonny had, she hardened against Carmilla, no longer blooming under the kind words, becoming bitter and reclusive. Carmilla sometimes found her wrapped in wires, the screens in her eyes glazed over with rapidly-scrolling text. </p><p>She looked happy like that.</p><p>Until she saw Dr. Carmilla. </p><p>---</p><p>With Ashes things seemed to work better at first. They never trusted her in the first place, and seemed to expect the worst at every turn. And this time Dr. Carmilla had optimised the mechanisation process beforehand, minimised any discomfort Ashes would go through. By now she could get it right the first time. </p><p>It was worth it for the way Ashes trusted them. Yes, they were wary at first, and stayed on edge until the last embers on their planet burned down, but afterwards they fell into a pattern of wry sarcasm and respectful distance. </p><p>For the first time, Carmilla felt like she might have a friend on the ship in time- or at least an ally. </p><p>But then she had to do some adjustments on Jonny. He wasn’t happy about it, but they could both tell that his heart needed to be repaired from the blue coldness in his limbs. She was used to it by now, knew exactly how to imply consequences for any violent struggle that would drain the (warm, sweet, forbidden) blood from his face as any resistance deserted him. </p><p>Ashes wasn’t supposed to walk into the lab while she was getting ready to cut into him. They weren’t supposed to hear his hitching breaths, so close to sobs, as she tried to soothe him with gentle murmurs.</p><p>From then on, the distance Ashes kept no longer seemed respectful. </p><p>---</p><p>The Archivist was the bitterest failure. Carmilla had met her by chance when researching in a library so spectacular that she was sure all the secrets of the universe were contained within it. She spent years visiting and getting to know the librarian, striking up conversations about the books Carmilla devoured with the ravenous hunger she could never satisfy and that Ivy seemed to share. </p><p>It had taken time to gain trust on both sides, but after decades of seeing Carmilla stubbornly refusing to age, broaching the topic of immortality gently seemed like it would be easy. And from what she had heard of Ivy’s lonely life outside of the library, she hoped Carmilla’s alternative would be welcomed.</p><p>The fire in the library that left Ivy unconscious and unlikely to recover from smoke inhalation had made Carmilla’s choice for her without Ivy getting a say. </p><p>But something went wrong. </p><p>The mechanised Ivy Alexandria did not remember Carmilla. </p><p>In the cold rage that descended on Carmilla as she realised her friend was gone forever, she unleashed every experiment she had been holding off on due to concern about pain or suffering. It wasn’t really her friend who would be suffering, after all. </p><p>It was strange, how Ivy didn’t remember any of what had happened, but her body still flinched when Carmilla came close. Her voice still lacked the happiness it had when talking to the others (the happiness it used to have when talking to Carmilla).</p><p>---</p><p>The others mechanised Tim. They did it badly, she could tell. His face still had unsightly lines of dark metal running across it from where their dreadfully unsubtle augmentation gave him back a version of sight. </p><p>She waited for him to turn on them. She was certain it would happen- it always did. But from the glimpses she caught in between being shoved out of the airlock, he didn’t seem more violent towards the others than they all were to each other. </p><p>Instead, the next time she was shoved out of an airlock, metallic eyes were watching as she floated out into the void. </p><p>---</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me on friday: oh yeah I'm going to do sooo much done this weekend<br/>And Then I Did This</p><p>Comments and kudos are very appriciated! (pls XD)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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